3.15.14

Rice, beans, fruits, vegetables, dairy, spices. It's not a long list, but it is enough. Most people I know don't think in terms of enough, they think in terms of what they want and imagine that the two are synonymous - when they have what they want then it will be enough.

"Enough" for me started when I interviewed for this job at the University of Saint Francis. Knowing they supported Franciscan values, I asked if they included poverty as one of those values - didn't Francis give his clothes away and beg in the streets, only to give away (again) everything but what he needed to survive? Wouldn't it be cool if there was a residence life experience that taught you about real poverty and made you ask how much is 'enough'? I am still asking myself this question and pondering the answers. In January when I first considered this Lenten fast I felt drawn to a few Bible verses:

I read some of this book in college.
but I thought he was crazy
and probably a liberal
I should have paid more attention
I could have saved a lot of time
figuring out that love is radical
and sometimes liberal
and God is not really about
maintaining the status quo.

There are three things that are never satisfied,
four that never say, "Enough!"
the grave,
the barren womb,
land, which is never satisfied with water,
and fire, which never says, "Enough!"

"What should we do then?"
"Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same."

"But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistrust you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."

These are pretty radical statements. I don't want to be like the grave or the consuming fire, I want to know when I have enough and still be willing to give that away. Jesus proposed... no, he didn't propose, he commanded a very radical kind of generosity. I've been coming to realize that I don't know how to follow that command because my expectations are set too high. "Give until it hurts" means very little in the grand scheme of things because 'hurts' can mean having no budget for coffee at the local coffee shop, or reducing the amount of money I spend on personal entertainment in a month. I don't have a frame of reference for 'hurt,' and therefore my generosity always falls short of Jesus' command and the real needs of the world.

Here at the end of a restful and indulgent spring break (indulgent within the bounds of my fast - it's amazing how creative one can be when one has rice flour and condensed milk) these are my thoughts. How will I know what is enough? Is my fast really selfish if it does not include giving - of my money, of my time, of my resources - the way Jesus commanded me? How do I make sure that this spiritual practice has a tangible effect on my life after the Lenten season?