To continue the conversation, then, I suppose I will turn inward. I recently joined a very secret society whose goal is to have all of its members read at least 52 books in 52 weeks. It is called 52in52 and... I guess it's not so secret anymore. No matter, you'll probably hear a lot about it this year. My first choice for this challenge was Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen, and although it is brief (119 pages) it has really given me a lot to think about.
What He Said
Nouwen had a friend who asked him to write something about spirituality that would speak to his "secular" friends in New York City. The preface and the conclusion tell the story of their friendship, and everything between is written in a very personal tone - the book is more like a letter than a manuscript, and that very thing makes it difficult to breeze through. You don't just skim a book when the author seems to be speaking directly to you, telling you that you are Beloved.That word - Beloved - is the way Nouwen describes the entire human experience. He says that we must first realize that we are Beloved, and we spend too much time listening to voices that tell us we must earn Belovedness. Second, we are in the process of becoming Beloved; our life experience is completed by being "taken, blessed, broken and given," being sensitive to our Belovedness and realizing that we never have to compete for value and love. Finally, living as the Beloved, we have the joy of knowing that being Beloved is not a "spiritual" thing, it is an identity that we can embrace and a promise for the future, when there will be no more lying voices telling us we are worthless or cursed.
Some Reflection
I definitely recommend this book to anyone, anytime. If you read the preface and epilogue you find that Nouwen's friend liked the book, but didn't think that it was exactly what he and his secular friends needed because it assumed certain things about reality that they were unwilling to accept. From my perspective, however, it was exactly what I need to hear and what I want my friends and students to hear. You are Beloved. Everything else in the world feeds you lies, but this one thing cannot be changed, even if you choose to forget it: You are Beloved, and there are incredibly practical steps that you can take toward recognizing and accepting that Belovedness.
It was kind of a big deal to me, because I tend to accept what other people say. I spend a lot of time listening and reflecting, trying to understand why and how people and things work; this may surprise some of you, but I do this more than I talk. I am quick to assume that the next person knows better than I do, which looks a lot like humility and is rather healthy in most conversations.
Sometimes that compliance isn't so healthy, however. After 20-some years, I know exactly what it feels like to hear my failures and others' criticisms sneak up on me and whisper in my ear that if I don't make the grade, I am a bad student; if I'm not around, my friends will forget me; if I'm not interesting, no one will care. This book challenges this way of thinking at its core and begs me - and you, if you read it - to remember:
"These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. The truth, even though I cannot feel it right no, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God's eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity and held safe in an everlasting embrace." (49)I feel bereft, having 'finished' this book without experiencing all of the profound change it recommends. Life does not afford the time to dwell on every word, but having been read, these words are going to stay with me. Read it, and I pray they will do the same for you.
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