The Interview

I learned a valuable life lesson today. If I wear my hair loose or in a low ponytail, people are more likely to smile as they reject me. A charming smile makes rejection so much more palatable.

Brad and I hit the streets with the video camera again today, haunting the sidewalks around the Paramount Studio in search of people with half a second to talk. Preferably more than half a second, I guess. More like 90 seconds.

Whatever.

The fun thing about conducting interviews for HPN is that I'm learning to deal with rejection. Some people try to be nice about it. They slow down for half a second and mumble that they're late for work already. Some people ignore you entirely. Some people ask why.

And one person comes to mind who found out that it was about prayer and simply shouted over his shoulder, "F***, no!" and went on his merry way.

As awkward as it is to approach people on the street and strike up conversation in front of a camera, I have learned a lot from the experience. I think faster on my feet nowadays. Mostly, I think about how much I want to run in the opposite direction. And then, even faster than that, I think, No, I need to get over these ridiculous fears.

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Karen Covell is going to call Geneva sometime soon and find out if they're interested in having her speak in chapel about the opportunities for ministry and missions in Hollywood. I think it's a great idea, and I can't wait to see her on campus encouraging all the creative ones among us to step out and be part of cultural redemption.

Thinking of Karen at Geneva made me think of me at Geneva too. I miss it a lot. I also look forward to going home a changed person. I've learned more this semester than I ever could have imagined learning... and once again I'm stunned by the beauty and grace of God's plan.

And then I stumbled across my best friend's Facebook...

Now to him who is able to do IMMEASURABLY more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory of the church and Jesus Christ throughout all generations, forever and ever amen
Eph 3:20-21

A-Z? Z-A? The Quick Brown Fox Jumped Over the Lazy Dog?

(Edited to make more sense. I'm pretty sure.)

I just made a trip to Home Depot to purchase some things for the improvement of the Greenhouse Productions prop & wardrobe closet. The sight of those big orange letters and the smell of wood, glue, paint, and potting soil were like a soothing balm to my Western Pennsylvanian soul after months of concrete, sand and strolls through The Grove. It called to mind many an early morning or late night trip with my father to replace that one screw we lost or the extra sheet of drywall we hadn't planned for...

…but I digress. The thing about Home Depot that stood out to me, the one thing that was unfamiliar, was the sight of so many men standing at the gates, hoping to be hired for construction work.

It made me think of the parable of the workers in the vineyard from Matthew 20:1-16. Do you know it? The owner of the vineyard went out in the morning and hired men to work for him for the day for a set wage. They were not enough, so he did the same at 9, at noon, at 3, and at 5 - right before the end of the work day. When it came time for the workers to be paid, they all received the wage he had promised.

Jesus goes on to say that those who had worked the full day thought it unfair that those who had only worked an hour received the same wage. The master of the vineyard reminded them that it was his money to give, and that he had given them the amount they were owed.

"Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?"

And then Jesus interprets His story with the famous statement:
"So the last will be first, and the first will be last."
Matthew 20:15-16

So what are my thoughts? As humans, our first instinct after survival seems to be comparison - "...now that I'm pretty sure I'll live through the day, I want to know where I rank in relation to the five bodies standing in closest proximity to me..." - and we are pretty darn good at it. We, as Christians, talk a lot about giving up our lives for God and relying on Him for survival, but somehow the message of this parable doesn't translate so easily... we continue to do a stellar job at hierarchical organization.

Some Christians have a harder road to walk. Some get their hands dirty. Some get regular headaches. Some have hands covered in ink. Some hold Bibles; some, boom poles; some, guns; some... scripts. Some Christians work 9-5 at a desk, on a roof or in an assembly line. Others are actors, producers, writers, and make-up artists.

The value of the work is not found in what a person does, but in who has asked them to do it. God doesn't tell us to stack these callings against each other and see which is higher on the Tower of Babel measuring stick, He asks us to be faithful to His commands and to be the Body of His Church.

It didn’t matter to the owner of the vineyard that some men worked for twelve hours and others only one. He didn’t compare how much work they had done – instead, he stayed faithful to give them the wage they had agreed upon. In the same way, it doesn’t matter to God whether we join Him early in life or late, or whether we work in a factory or a production company. He gives all of His workers the same grace He promised.

Jesus’ statement that the last will be first and the first, last doesn’t mean we need to grovel to get ahead… it means we should stop thinking about who’s ahead anyway, because no one person's work in the Kingdom is better than another's. He is not saying that Z replaces A, creating a new, reversed, hierarchy. He’s saying that there is now no order except grace, which by its nature puts us all on the same level.

So there are my thoughts. Have any thoughts?
And if you can figure out my title, I'll give you... a high five or something. Googling is not allowed.

Divine Appointments

My roommate Sarah has a thing with dessert.  She keeps a bowl of cookie dough in the fridge.  Last Tuesday night, she decided to make brownies.

We decided that it would be cool to scope out the thrift store scene in our area, since we're tired of borrowing clothes and looking like we're from the East Coast.  Her GPS was confused, but we didn't get horribly lost - we had just accidentally driven past it when we had to stop in the turn lane at a big intersection.  Did God mean for us to miss our turn?

Sarah drives a little Echo that looks like it might float away if it hit a puddle.  We were wondering why our lane wasn't moving, when the guy ahead of us pulled out and around a SUV that was stopped in the lane.  Sarah was about to do the same when a kid jumped out of the passenger's side and ran toward us, waving his hand.  We thought he might want to borrow a cell phone, since the vehicle was clearly broken down, but when he got to the window he asked if we could push them.

With our car.  Through the intersection.

It was awesome, the little car the could.  Sarah's little Echo got fender-to-bumper with a Ford Explorer and pushed it through an intersection and into a parking lot.  Well, I had to get out and push it into the parking lot, but the car made a great effort up to that point.  The kid and I got the car pushed into a parking space (very well-lighted.  I'm not an idiot.) and started trying to figure out what was wrong with it.

Fifteen minutes later, I was trying to find something not wrong with it.  We brought the Echo around and  gave the battery a jump, but after it ran a few minutes we were overwhelmed by a cloud of smoke billowing out of... well, everything.  The kid had taken the family's (there were four people in the vehicle) cash and run into the store with it.  He returned with two quarts of oil and a bottle of power steering fluid, both of which he emptied into the engine with much room to spare.  He had nothing to replace the coolant that was pouring out on the ground.

It was the image of my dad's worst nightmare.

About the time the second quart of oil went in and didn't touch the dipstick, I accepted the fact that I really had no idea what to do with the poor engine, but Sarah and I didn't want to leave them.  They were Christians, so grateful that we had stopped to help them in this city where people only look twice to cuss you out or honk their horns, constantly blessing us... and regardless, they obviously needed help.

We got the car started again (I turned it off in hopes that some of the coolant could be saved) and Sarah and I followed them the 5-6 blocks to their street.  Still, it felt wrong to leave, so I decided to leave my number with them and offer to give them a ride if they had anything really important that they needed to get to.  We made the offer, only to discover that they had been on the way to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription for mother, who has a serious condition.  Five minutes later, the little Echo that could was trekking down Santa Monica Blvd. with four people squished in the back seat.  Such a brave little car...

Looking back on it, I'm not sure that it all happened.  We took them to Ralph's, where they got their prescription and did some shopping for dinner, and we had the opportunity to ask them about their lives. Turns out the accent we couldn't place wasn't from LA at all - it was definitely Queen's, New York, with the addition of a thick Greek twist.  They've been living here for five years and, to my confused amusement, they attributed our unique kindness to the fact that we're from the East Coast rather than to our faith.

Because the East Coast is so full of really nice people...

Sarah and I were practically giddy when we dropped them off and drove away - it was such a different experience that I almost don't know how to begin to talk about it.  I won't speak for Sarah, but I was incredibly humbled by the fact that God chose us to be the ones to help them.  For better or for worse, I feel the most alive when I'm helping other people, and sometimes just giving back rubs and encouraging words seems so petty.  Being the one pushing the car, checking the oil, calming the family, offering to help... I felt like a real adult and for the first time, I didn't see that as such a depressing thing.

God is great, and if I had any doubt that my time here is by His appointment, these little events along the way convince me even more.

In other news, we arrived home to the rich smell of chocolate smoke.  Christina didn't notice the brownies burning in her excitement over the chicken dinner she had prepared.  We were saved a few calories, and one of the boys' apartments got a good laugh out of the brick of brownie that we addressed to them, with love <3

...but sometimes, I write.

It occurs to me that I haven't shared with you about my internship.  My bad.  I was fortunate enough, in this strange world of film, celebrities, and "script coverage," to receive the internship that I really, really, really wanted - a ministry internship.  I'm working with the Hollywood Prayer Network, Hollywood Connect and Greenhouse Productions twenty hours a week and loving it.  I do all the boring stuff you'd expect to do in an internship - folding brochures, updating the database and Facebook PR - but it's so much better than that.  We read the Bible and pray for an hour at the beginning of the week.  Our staff meeting on Wednesday is just plain fun, and always concludes with group prayer.

My favorite part, though, is... never mind, everything's my favorite.  The best part is that creativity is encouraged.  I wrote the following for the Facebook fanpage...

"As a student from semi-rural Pennsylvania, Los Angeles and the Hollywood scene present me with a radically different culture from that of my hometown. I am confident that God brought me here this semester, and I am enjoying it - I was very glad to find my interning 'niche' here at the HPN/Hollywood Connect/Greenhouse office.  It's only been two weeks and I have already been both challenged and encouraged greatly through the Bible and the staff here. 

"Last Monday morning I was reading Psalms in preparation for a staff prayer time and I was struck by David's words in Psalm 8 - he talks about the majesty of God's name and the awesomeness of His creation, and then David marvels at the position that God has given mankind: "You have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings... you made him ruler over the works of your hands, you put everything under his feet."

"What a huge responsibility!  God created the universe, greater than we can even imagine; He thought up DNA and atoms and details so small that we can't see them; He then created people... and put us in charge of all of these wonderful things.  Words like "ruler" and "have dominion" are powerful and inspire a deep sobriety about our purpose here on earth and the value of our decisions.  The concept and responsibility of stewardship is so heavy that, by itself, it could be very discouraging.  Whether we look into the pages of the Bible, or of history, or into the faces of our neighbors and friends, we can see that mankind repeatedly fails to fulfill their role as good stewards and rulers over the Creation.

"I am so glad that God didn’t leave it at that! As I continued reading, I turned to Psalm 38, then Psalms 68 and 98 and 128 (there’s a method to my madness), and I was struck by the way God is revealed in these psalms – He is hailed as the one who has worked salvation, the one who has set the lonely in families, the one who sees our affliction and does not forsake us.  These chapters reminded me of the faithfulness of our God to heal the brokenhearted, to redeem all of creation that is groaning for salvation.

"When David wrote Psalm 8, it was very much a post-Eden observation.  He didn’t write about what was, but about what is.  We do have a responsibility for the well-being of Creation, but God has not abandoned us – through our success and failure alike, He makes His salvation known to the Nations.

"What does all of this mean for me as I work here in Hollywood for the next few months?  It means that while I continue to approach my daily decisions (in academia, cinema, relationships, and etc) with discernment, I have confidence that God will never forsake me or any person in this city who calls on His name.

           "You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary;
                        the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people.
            Praise be to God!"

I cannot begin to say how much I miss everyone at home - my family, the Student Min office, Geneva friends... even the insanity of my normal school schedule.  I'm glad to be where I am for my internship because I am constantly reminded that God has a purpose for me here and I am encouraged to thank him for it out loud.  So don't cry for me, I'll be home in May.  I can't wait to see what new insights await me in the near future :)

Coincidence? Probably

Del called me at 9 o'clock this morning.

This is the sister that lives in California. So, it's not like it was noon and she forgot about the time difference. She was, legit, awake at 9am on a Saturday morning. I shouldn't complain, she made it possible for me to do some shopping at Costco, and she showed me Surf City afterwards.

Granted, it rained most of the afternoon, so the beach was only marginally impressive.

The point of all of this is that I got lost on my way home and ended up being gone 5 hours instead of 3, so I missed seeing my roommates all afternoon. And I missed meeting my roommate's friends until they walked in the door about an hour ago. Which would likewise have no significance, if it were not for the identity of one of those friends...

Laurie looked at me and asked if I was from Pennsylvania. "Pittsburgh, in fact." Laurie looked at me and asked if I had ever heard of Miracle Mountain Ranch. "I lived there for a year, in fact." Laurie looked at me and said... me too.

So tonight, after wandering around Huntington Beach in the rain, being lost for a chunk of the afternoon, and after having a dinner of salad and Pepsi alone, I was reminded of God's amazing sense of humor and timing. While in California studying film, I ran into someone from Texas who happens to have been in Western Pennsylvania at Miracle Mountain Ranch the summer I was an apprentice.

I then discovered that my friend from Maine has sisters who were also at MMR when I was a volunteer.

Just a little reminder that God always knows what He's doing. Especially when I don't.

All this to say, I'm setting my phone to "alarm only" at night from now on.

Story of Stories

Here's a copy of my first assignment for Theology in Hollywood - we were supposed to do some research and reflection on what we've been taught about film and how our experiences have shaped our "critical eye" as we approach film.  It was different to have to explain my ideas in contrast to what I've been taught.  I was glad for the time I've spent at Geneva.  I'm not afraid of a challenge, though - let me know what you think.

I grew up watching old musicals like "Singin' in the Rain," "Meet Me in St. Louis" and "State Fair."  The first movie I remember seeing in theaters was "The Quest for Camelot."  At Christmas, my dad's idea of a good family time is a Bourne marathon or anything with Harrison Ford killing people.  My mother quoted "The Princess Bride" during every life lesson she ever taught my sisters and I, and I will buy any movie that looks reasonably entertaining and is priced below $10.  My younger sister laments that I have no taste in movies, and, after looking at my DVD collection, you might agree*. 

     My grandparents, and my parents in their youth, really had no discrimination when it came to movies.  The funny thing is, my parents chose a homeschool program that took an intensely restrictive approach to the world of film – although we never completely rejected mainstream culture (including movies), I would say that my family’s approach to film, particularly with questionable material, was conservative.  Although my church does not teach much on the topic either, I would say that they see film as conservative. I have had to take the step, on my own for the most part, to educate myself about what film really is and what its value is beyond pure, mindless entertainment.  Fortunately for me, my professors at college
have greatly influenced me to step out of my comfort zones and away from my family’s values (now that I’m an adult) to evaluate movies and form an opinion.  What follows is my own opinion, after weighing all of these influences… and a bit of explanation for my being here. 

     I love stories.  I love that when God decided to tell us about Himself, He did it with stories acted out and recounted by horribly flawed human beings.  Even the story of His Incarnation is told through the pens of four men with radically different purposes for their accounts.  I take a less traditional, more Eastern approach to stories: I believe that there is always a moral or lesson in the
story, but it either should or does not need to be stated.  A truly powerful story allows the audience – the listeners, the watchers – to take away a lesson that is unique to them and their experience.  A didactic statement likewise requires interpretation and application. 

     It is my fascination with stories that allows me to approach movies that my family might censure or that everyone else thinks are stupid. I am willing to watch/listen to ‘questionable’ scenes, language or poorly made movies* because I want to be part of the story that the writers/directors/actors spent so much time putting together for the big screen. On Johnston’s scale I would say that I fall at both extremes of the spectrum at one time or another, but most often I hover around “dialogue.”  If you suspend your belief, disbelief, or judgment long enough to actually experience the movie and ‘learn’ the lesson inherent in the story, then you will have the right to an opinion if you wish to critique or discuss the elements that make up the story.

~ I will add that I dislike movies that make me feel very uncomfortable (I actually walked out of “It’s Complicated”) or that have (what I think is) unnecessary sex or language.  I am also willing to admit that this dislike still falls in the realm of preference rather than moral judgment. ~ 

*to clarify, an example "poor taste" and "poorly made" might be... Planet of the Apes (2001).  Or The Scorpion King (2002).  Or Merlin's Apprentice.  Just for reference ;)

Forgetting Who You're Not

Ravi Zacharias once referred to popular musicians as "mid-level philosophers."  I never took the time to fathom his deeper reasons for saying that, but from that time forward I began to pay much closer attention to the lyrics of the songs I listened to.  Maybe it's dear old Ravi's fault that I'm here, exploring the power of pop culture.


Right now I'm studying American culture and film at their source - Los Angeles.  It wasn't until I was a full week into the semester that I started to question my approach to life here.  It occurs to me that one of the primary issues for humanity everywhere is identity.  We search for it, we fight over it, and we lie about it.  We all want to know who we are, who or what we belong to, and what we are supposed to do with that information.  Thus, it made perfect human sense that when I arrived here I immediately began pretending that I knew what the hell I was doing.  Unsurprisingly, it didn't work.


I think I came here with the view that I could be and do whatever I wanted, but I have come to realize that as enthusiastically American as that sentiment is, it really isn't true.  Who I am and what I do is not up to me at all - it's a direct result of my past and God's grace.  This semester, like every day before and after, is up to Him.  If I intend to truly be myself, I have to forget about being someone else.  So here's my message for Hollywood...

Hi Hollywood,

I'm a Student Ministry and Culture Studies major from a small college in Western Pennsylvania.  I love to watch movies, but I haven't the slightest clue about cameras, lighting, acting, or professional writing.  I love stories, but I've never written one.  In short, I don't know why I'm here.  The good news is that I no longer care.  I've been listening to 3 Doors Down, and I've decided to live this semester I've been given like it's the only one I've got.

Oh, and the acoustic version is better.